The Ramblings of a…somewhat progressed man

It has been a few months since the last time I have written here. and strangely enough, I’m writing at work on my lunch break, squeezing what i can in a 40 minute time frame. With music in my ears to block out the world for the time being. My…saviour invention I would like to think.

So what brings me to writing here again now? has there been any changes? any diffences since my last ramble? Well, I can say that’d be a  yes and a no. On a major note, there has been progress for life in what I want to do. Theres no denying myself the job that I am in is not impressive. And thats putting it very lightly with sugar on top. But I have decided that after securing my tickets to go to New York Comic Con 2014, thats one thing ot take off my list of achievements. I am quite readily excited about that. I still have to plan my days properly after that though, im concerned I may not have enough money for things to buy, then again, I am restricting myself to purely clothing…and souvenirs? Probably

The other things i guess are progressing is my mental state. Though there has been a few hiccups, I guess I am clear with what I want to do after the trip. I need glasses for my eyes which is long overdue, I want to get a proper desktop for myself, so i see a new keyboard, monitor and then the all important rig which I will get a colleague at work to build for me, should cost me a cool $3000, but that I am not fussed. And then go into youtube, doing stuff that I want to do, earn some money from that and balance that with work. That’s if I would want to still be here.

Whiiiich leads me to why I am writing this. I guess as the years go by and I experience new things, people, life, technology, whatever they may be, I am continually astounded by human behaviour and people who behave the way they do. That’s not to say people percieve me in the same light as what I am about to right. But I am not writing about myself. I am writing about others.

So in short, someone apparently in my workplace had suffered some sort of illness. Taking them out of their…you could say ‘high’ position for a year and a half, which in turn had someone else replace them for that time frame. In which alot of people gave credit to the replacement as they were doing a phenomenal job it seems. And i would agree. But the thing is, when the person came back, even before they had left, seemed to not have changed in their behaviour. They still acted like this, stuck up, spoilt, selfish mentality that they carried before their ‘supposed’ sickness. And that has really rubbed me up the wrong way. Why? Because my father. Now as you read this and I write it, my father in short is a hell of a man, he’s fair, he’s strict when need to be, but after he was sick with cancer and is current in remission, I am living with him now and when we talk at the dinner table, his mentality has changed as opposed to his younger years. He’s more open, he’s even more forgiving about things that he normally wouldn’t be. And he always is fair about looking at multiple sides of the argument so to speak. So he has been changed with his illness and is, for the better i think, enjoying his life with drama, tv series, good news and whatever else makes him happy, as he should. But the thing is, he has changed his attitude, he knows he has been given a second chance of life to enjoy it. His glory days of working have passed and he understands that, but at the same time he’s just doing what makes him happy. And i will never fault him for that.

But this person? I sigh as I think that this person has not changed for the better, in fact as previously mentioned, they have not changed at all. And it’s sad. Its affecting myself to wanting to quit from this job as soon as my goals are completed and then thats it. Gone, finito, zero, badabingbadaboom, ciao, sayonara, see you later fuckers. That’s how my mentality has changed for this person.

I usually have a few seconds to think a ‘what if’, like a what if this person could change, but the thing is, their age, the way that they have been brought up, the kinda clout they have in the workplace that I am in, is so huge, I doubt they would want to leave. Its that comfortable. They seem to breeze through the day at ease, hell, they have enough time to have feuds with the other ranked people in the workplace. Thats how astounding to me this person gets away with things.

Here’s a thinker for you. Say for example you have one person you know that describes the person I just did a few seconds ago, and you have some thoughts that you know, for a damn certainty, that that person if they had battled through a life altering incident would be changed for the better. And what comes with that change, if they were more sympathetic to causes, people, the people they command in the workplace, would earn them respect. Thats the core of what I’m trying to say, but with a bit of fluff.

Going back to my father, his change has earned him more of my respect than before. Sure, if he didn’t get sick and he was still working, getting his money etc, my respect for him was still there. That I can say is undeniable. But thats the thing, that’s an if. Now, what has transpired? I know the respect is overflowing for him and will always will be, no matter how many times he annoys me. Y’see, if the person I’m talking about had changed their ways, respect would be golden for them. And not only that, that person for sure would be a better leader in their job. And I say this, is because I know for a fact, I believe I would do a better job if given the opportunity.

In a perfect world, throw out test scores, throw out reports of eligability and criteria, throw out Key Performance Indicators, throw all that shit away but endorse something different. Its hard to explain, but an example I can give is what has been said about video game company Naughty Dog, these guys pride themselves on working together, being in a non heirachy of reporting to managers or all that shit. Sure they have title of lead designer, 2nd in charge of this department, whatever it may be. But the people integrate, are understanding of one anothers job and apparently are fearless to approaching each other for ideas. Its one of the few keys that they apparently live by that has them creating the awesome games of Crash Bandicoot, the Uncharted franchise and definately I am sure for future projects.

But this person, the society I see in this country just doesnt have that same mentality. Maybe its due to the work ethics of the ‘commonwealth’, who knows, I havent lived that long to even research the history nor do I honestly want the real answer. But what I can say is all from the experiences that I have had, and the messages I feel are damn loud and clear. The business ethics just doesnt work here. It’s really pathetic as I mentally shake my head.

Y’know, I wish I could say more on the subject, but I have said the most important parts that I needed to get off my chest. I guess I find it disappointing that I have to put it on a blog rather than speak to someone about this, but then again, y’know, trust is almost like gold. You can write and talk about how good/how bad it is and what it will mean for you.
But it’s rare to find these days.

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